On Perseverance. Onward!

Mini book- had a lot of fun doing this- will be making many many more.

So I have applied to 5 DTs in the last month and have been turned down for all of them. The last rejection  hurt the most because I worked really hard on that application. I really felt like I would not only be an asset to the team but also bring some diversity in terms of project themes and general view point to the work. I mean I grew up in the Bronx, I live in Brooklyn- who the heck expects someone like me to be conversant in the idiom of this uber polite and family values centered hobby? Shouldn't I be like, painting murals or knitting floppy hats for Johnny Depp or something?

I suppose the truth is I just started out so I have to "pay dues". I've always found that expression incredibly obnoxious. I also have no idea where my style is going- half the time I have no idea where my PAGES are going. I just let the whim take me places. Most of the time I am just as surprised as my viewer when a project is done. So I can see why a manufacturer or a retailer would be wary- I'm an unknown quantity. And maybe I cuss too much? Who KNOWS??? They never bother to tell you why you are passed by!
So I start to question: Why do I do this? Why not keep the projects in the scrapbook like when I first started? Why write a blog where I tell unseen people very personal things and possibly irk or offend them? Why keep applying for teams when it makes me feel awful to get rejected? Why do I spend so much time and effort on these projects?
All great questions. As a type A personality I tend to get really into something when I like it. So what started as cutting up a few pages on a sunday has turned into reading blogs, making pages just for possible publication or for DT applications, joining groups to get noticed, leaving comments hoping people will return the favor- it just gets to be too much. Too much work and no pay- not even in compliments.
So I'm done.
No more DT applications. No more competitions.
No more posting links to my blog everywhere- that just annoys people anyway.
No more reading blogs and leaving comments in forums just to get new followers.

Back to what I liked about this in the first place, making truthful art or beautiful craft objects and making them my way.
Writing this blog is my favorite thing next to actually making a new page so I'll stick to that. I'll keep surfing blogs for inspiration but I won't freak out over making sure there are comments everywhere. And if I get noticed- great- if not- that's fine too. After all- that's what this is about isn't it? Making something for that pure sense of accomplishment? If I keep seeking validation from the outside aren't I doomed to constant discontent? Somethings to ponder.

MuChOs SmOoChEs!
M