Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Promise- a tone on tone experiment

Lately I've been REALLY awful at keeping up with my blog reading.
Thankfully I have Scrap FX and some photos I printed over 2 years ago to provide the inspiration for my latest scrapbook layout.

3 weeks ago I saw a post by Melissa Mann for Greenfrog Studios where she used her scoring board to make an embossed grid on her layout. 
I was SO INSPIRED!
So I tried it:
Those bright and fully alert eyes followed me everywhere.
Materials: Scrap FX The Promise wordlet 2012061, Flourish Kraft tag set 2012041 K, Kraft Lace tag set 2012040 K, Swallow embellishment pack 2010054, The Paper Source Kraft paper, buttons from American Crafts, My Mind's Eye and Basic Grey, Studio Calico Mister Huey in Calico Cream, EK Success score board (for embossed lines). Wax baking paper and cooking twine. Spools from Maya Road. Twine from The Twinery (via Scarlett- thanks girlie!!!)
I LOVE the subtle tone of tone effect this technique gives a layout. Melissa is a friggin' GENIUS!

Gotta use my button stash! 
At this time, 3 years ago, I was struggling through the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. 
I had JUST gotten the immensely exciting and joyful news that I was pregnant.
I had JUST started to shop for maternity clothes when a routine sonogram showed major problems with my baby's fetal nucal translucency
I was made to sit down as the doctor told me over the phone that this was a sign for fatal genetic defects and that further testing needed to be done right away.

And so the roller coaster began. 
Test after test showed very low probabilities for genetic disorders. 
So more exotic tests were given to ensure my baby didn't have some newly discovered syndrome. 
"Termination" was recommended several times each doctor's appointment even though no one would take a stand and tell me that they knew FOR SURE that my baby would not survive infancy.
All this cautious but terrifying probability talk really pissed me off.
A title meant for an engagement photo is given another meaning.
So I took a leap of faith.
I am strictly a rational person when it comes to this stuff but that's what it was.
I trusted that everything was going to be ok.
Not because I'm some wonderfully moral person but because I already loved my baby.
I loved her the second I found out she was there. 
And I made her a promise even if she was "only" a floating bean in a calm and dark sea. 
I would protect her at all costs. 
I would willingly and completely hand over all the love, all the affirmation and all the support one scared Brooklyn girl could give another. 
We would stick together and make it through this. 
Whatever "this" turned out to be.
Journaling written while Lola was in the NICU.
I told everyone to BACK OFF. 
I knew she was gonna be ok.
I got lots of flak from people I thought would be on our side.
They feared I would be "stuck" with a severely disabled child.
I ignored them too.
And I got support from unexpected corners.
People came out of the woodwork for Miss Thang!
My Mom most of all.
The outcome is a normal kid with an unnatural love of apple juice and Udon noodles.
She's had no health or developmental issues of any kind. 
She runs and jumps like a puppy on caffeine pills, makes random strangers answer her garbled questions, bosses everyone around (SIT! RIGHT THERE!!!) and generally acts like she's 5 not 2.
I love and am endlessly amused by my half-pint.

For her continued health I am unconditionally grateful.

GRATUITOUS TODDLER SHOT!!!!
Asleep...
AWAKE!!!
MuChOs SmOoChEs!
Michelle

19 comments:

  1. Oh dear. Waterworks this end! Thank goodness you stood your ground, how STRONG you must have had to be.

    Such a beautiful page for such an amazing story x x

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  2. That is such a wonderful story! I am so glad u made a beautiful page to help tell it for years to come! Love the bits and bobs. It's nice to see many are singing the creative awesomeness that is my bud Melissa. She is truly talented. As are u. :)

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    1. Gotta give credit where due! Melissa M lives the credo- be too good to ignore. :)

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  3. Whatta fabulous post and excellent layout...

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  4. LOVE your layout. LOVE the gorgeous words and meaning behind it all. LOVE that you call her half pint :)

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  5. (Breaking out the kleenex) This post is awesome! There is nothing on this earth like a mother's love for their little ones. I love, LOVE this layout!

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  6. Wonderful layout! What a fantastic post and so happy for you that everything turned out with such a great ending!

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  7. Oh, girl - what an amazing story and an awesome testament to the power of "a leap of faith!" God is good! What a precious gift you have there. Your layout is amazing and I know you and your daughter will treasure this forever! Thank you for sharing such a powerful and personal story!

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  8. Michelle- you had me in tears. I can not even begin to imagine all that you have been through. Your daughter is such a light in your life and i see that through the pictures that you take and post.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer! I don't have the writing talent to truly capture how I feel- the immensity of wonder I am struck with at least once a day- she's ok. SHE'S OK! My ulterior motive here is to encourage other parents facing similar circumstances. When I went looking on the net for more info on all the syndromes and complications doctor's kept mentioning I never once saw an encouraging post from an actual parent who's baby beat the odds. That made me very sad. So now I try to fill in the gap.

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  9. Beautiful page for a beautiful story.... I got a little weepy. Your leap of faith is inspiring and a testament that sometimes a mother's intuition and love is stronger than anything. Your daughter is beautiful and I'm happy for you that she is healthy and you had the courage to love her no matter what.

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  10. Amazing story-- this is a wonderful post!! I dont even know how to respond, but you're a true inspiration for those in any hard situation! Your layout is fabulous too-- I love that scoring technique, I will have to give it a try.

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  11. I had to pop in and tell you again how much I love this page - that photo is amazing and the story gives me the God bumps!

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  12. This post and your page are so beautiful!!!

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  13. Amazing story and testament to your faith in love. Whatever would be, you would be there for your child. Awesome! Awesome page too! ;)

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  14. Wow what an awesome story, it's just so beautiful! There's nothing like a mother's love. Your layout is beautiful!!! thanks so much for sharing :) hugs, marlene

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  15. This is so beautiful. I love the scoring on the kraft base and the pops of colour. I'm so glad you went with your heart. Doctors aren't always right. Miss Lola is sooooo adorable!

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  16. Michelle you are a wonderful, strong, big hearted person. Your story is amazing, thank you for sharing it... Your cute page sure packs a powerful punch! You have this picture of Lola when she seems so fragile, there are whimsical buttons and strings but then there is that absolutely steadfast title and journaling! Honestly AMAZING! AND thank you always for your encouragement! Much love to you too my friend!

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  17. I tried to comment on this earlier, but my phone rebelled (argh!). Your story is incredible. I love that you fought for her. Faith is so incredible. You are so right, you need to bring balance to all the negativity out there on the internet and share that beautiful girl! Gorgeous layout too incidentally. :)

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Ok peeps lets CHAT! You tell me what you REALLY think and I PROMISE to keep it open minded here.