Oh how I wish I were going to the Create and Connect show in Vegas!
I don't know how good I'd be at talking people up when I only know them from their blogs.
It'd probably be as awkward as my entire Junior High School experience.
It'd probably be as awkward as my entire Junior High School experience.
But a girl can dream.
Lately I've been attacked by fears of inadequacy.
Acknowledging that perhaps I'm not meant for the big CHA attending design teams.
Acknowledging that perhaps I'm not meant for the big CHA attending design teams.
I love what I do but it comes very hard and takes a long time.
I feel like Molieri in that Mozart flick whining about why I was given the ability to recognize and appreciate great talent but not actually express it.
Now please don't write in assuring me I'm crazy (but thank you.)
I feel like Molieri in that Mozart flick whining about why I was given the ability to recognize and appreciate great talent but not actually express it.
Now please don't write in assuring me I'm crazy (but thank you.)
That usually me feel like a fool begging for praise.
I'm slowly realizing many of my emo posts are just that- pleas for attention.
YIKEZERS!!!!!
I'm slowly realizing many of my emo posts are just that- pleas for attention.
YIKEZERS!!!!!
I think I have talent but I'm so frequently stuck many times it feels like I'm forcing the work and not enjoying the final result.
In any case I'm just putting feelings into words so I can move on hopefully.
Here are some photos from my first month in Utah.
My sister says it looks like I having a great time.
I say- don't mistake good photos for a good time.
My New York photos were ghetto but I was happy and free to move- something I took entirely for granted.
I say- don't mistake good photos for a good time.
My New York photos were ghetto but I was happy and free to move- something I took entirely for granted.
Here I'm just treading water- waiting, waiting, waiting.
And I'm incredibly resentful about it.
Truth.
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| I missed Manhattanhenge. So sorry. |
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| Yellowstone. |
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| Random camera misfire I love. |
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| Old Faithful. This baby is HUGE! HUGE! |
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| Yellowstone's Grand Canyon. |
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| Wasatch Mountain Trail (Utah) |
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| Right after I took this shot the sky opened up and started to hail. |
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| But going up was great- we just need to know when it's time to leave. |
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| Thanksgiving Point has TWO Tyrannosaurus skeletons, a Stegosaurus, a Supersaurus (!!) AND most important- a sand pit. We became members. |
Some sneaks of projects made for Get It Scrapped.
Do you receive Masterful Design or Get It Scrapped newsletter emails?
If you need prompts or ideas for what do on your next page I think this is one of the best websites for it.
Swing by and check it out.
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| I have fallen in love with GCD Studio papers. Not even sure which ones I have but I love them all. |
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| For an article on technique trends. Not sure what made me add real leaves to the layout but they 've held up very well. |
Final shot. Perhaps a tad over processed.
Snapseed is a great app- took a while to figure it out but I got the hang of it.
Next step- learn to lay off the white balance and contrast controls.
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| Running through the sprinklers. |
Well at least someone is having fun.
Michelle
keep an open mind baby....at least Miss L is getting exposure to different things :)
ReplyDeleteand ps-I would love to be your wingman in Vegas! My superpowers would be in high gear!
Awesome pictures and wonderful layouts!!! "I think I have talent " - may I come and have a face to face talk! YES - you have talent- stop making my value of your work depending on Design Teams- besides let me tell you again- they are not THAT cool! stay true to your style- you have your own style and it is wonderful- keep on doing what you are doing and enjoy it- the rest will come - sometimes in different ways when you think. Roar baby, roar!
ReplyDeleteYes I do keep having to say that to myself. :) I suppose change is good but I would have preferred to be more in control of my destiny- perhaps that is a lesson on it's own- to let go of this strange need.
Deletewow! these pictures are wonderful... such beautiful lanscapes!
ReplyDeleteand I love you tiger-girl....
xoxox
Listen to Nathalie...she is spot on about DT! It's a process and it will come. I was ready to quit after Winter CHA...now I don't have enough time to create for ME!
ReplyDeleteWhelp, I'm not going to say much (yeah right I tend to blab to you - ha!). I came cuz' I saw a sweet shot shot of your baby girl and haven't been here in a bit. Your photos are beautiful and I'm sorry you miss home so much. I can relate to that somewhat - as much as I adore country living, cuz' I truly do - there are pieces of my heart that still long for the city life I left behind at times and always will. I don't know that your path is going to keep you where you are but I do hope you can feel more settled - resent is never a good feeling to have. Your project sneaks are delightful to look at and I can't wait to see the entire pages - as far as the DT stuff and what not - whelp, you said not to go there so I won't (much - teehee) but Nat has really good words for you to absorb - really wonderful you were able to meet her in person - so jealous, haha!! I want to go on but again I will honor your request. Just know I love your work and so do a lot of other peeps - there are other avenues in the art/scrap world beyond DTs. Dream big mama!!!
ReplyDeleteFacing the new and unknown every single day gets exhausting it is impossible to maintain the initial excitement of new experiences and inevitable that you will miss the comforts of home in NY. The trick is to remember that your creativity is also your home. It is there for you and will comfort you in tough times, it is yours and yours alone which makes it entirely your choice to share it. As much as we love seeing what you create our approval is not necessary and making it into work by contributing to DTs can drain you of the impulse to create freely. I suppose what I'm trying to say is relax, breathe, sleep, snuggle, create, get back to basics because it is in these comforts you will again find your niche in this new home.
ReplyDeleteand thank you for being you, I think you are amazing!
Quite possibly the most insightful and perspective adjusting comment I've ever read- thank you so much Peg. I'm humbled.
DeleteI love what Peg wrote- she spoke so well what I was thinking and wanting to put into words!
ReplyDeleteI am sure you've heard it many times, but you write so well- your blog posts are like a book that I can't put down. You make me laugh and I feel your pain too. I thoroughly enjoyed your photos- sorry you're having a tough time to start with. But being someone from the woods who loves the outdoors- your nature photos hit home and made me smile :). Love seeing your little girl out in the sticks :). SO good for kids and for the soul...I hope you find yourself and find happiness- and never doubt your creativity. You're an amazing individual!
xErin