Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Dylusions ink spray, Scrap FX chipboard AND a GREAT story- (no really!)


Happy hump day folks!

Yesterday was a whirl wind of activity for me.
I took my first driver's permit test and promptly failed it.
You will NEVER ever guess why.

This page was meant mean how I felt about my move but how very
pertinent is that highway photo now? I'll have to take another one like it.
Materials: Scrap FX fancy arrows and graffiti alphabet chipboard. Dylusions ink
in black (LOVE!!!!), A Flair For Buttons clock flair, a 25 cent alphabet stencil
from the dime store, chalk marker to paint the chipboard and MT neon pink washi.
I cheated.
WAIT! Not on purpose.
"Who cheats without knowing they cheated???" You might ask bewildered-like.
Me- the dumbass over here.

See I was told by a very helpful family member who shall remain nameless that it would be an OPEN BOOK TEST.
They were quite insistent and jolly about it.
Other family members agreed.
I was also told this test would be SO EASY.

It's NOT.

The DMV guy who took my 15 dollars probably told me not to open my book but by the end of my paper work processing he was Mr. Mumbles.
All I heard was" "Don't use your cell phone"
I thought to myself- why can't I use my cell phone during an open book test? Are they worried I'll talk too loud?"
But I didn't ask- I didn't want to look stupid.
Smack me right now.
CORNY!!! It should read: I'm totally incompetent- I'm surprised I haven't been killed
by my own folly yet but I'm your Mom- you better follow the rules of the road! LOL.
Proof! There are NO STUPID QUESTIONS.
Only bad listeners and assumptions with consequences.

I SHOULD have said "What?" or "I'm sorry I didn't catch anything after 'Take This Form"
But I was excited and I wanted to prove to myself I could HANDLE THIS.

After question 14 (answered while sitting right next to 5 other people ALL USING HANDBOOKS)
I pulled out my book thinking "I guess I'll put pride aside and use the book too."
I was worried about seeming proud.
GAH! The stupidity of it all!!!!

WHY does Utah allow some people to use their handbooks during the test?
Are these folks renewing their license?
They all looked around 15 (another reason I wanted to spare using the book)
Are teenagers allowed to take a test with a book?
NO answers from the DMV.

Suddenly a burly and smirking matron LOOMED above me and said
"COME WITH ME."
And I KNEW my ass was TOAST- I recognized that tone from grade school.
I just didn't know why I was in trouble.
And she never told me.
My book was rudely snatched away and I was told I had to wait 30 days to retake the test.
No further explanation- I tried to ask why but was given THE LOOK.
SHAME! DEEP all encompassing SHAME!
Why would I try to explain stupidity?

Anyway there you have it- me in my true glory- tripping through life and kicking my own ass.

Whenever you feel bad about yourself just say- well at least I didn't just pull a Michelle.


Lola is gonna LOVE this story.
Just you WAIT Missy!

Michelle.


15 comments:

  1. HA!! So...not laughing at your misfortune...but yeah, maybe I am! But only because you are a wonderful story teller and have me laughing :) :) :)!!!! I love your page, by the way, just awesome...now off to do some reading and catch up on what I've missed here on your blog!

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  2. Sorry for laughing.... (hope you're not hearing it all the way over there LOL )
    Wish you all the best of luck in 30 days!
    Btw.. you layout is just fabolous!

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    1. Please laugh- it's the only redeeming quality about this ordeal.

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  3. At least you got a great story out of it!!! So why were the teenagers getting to use their book?

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    1. Can you believe I STILL. Don't know? Maybe the book says but it was confiscated. I'll have to try to find another book or print it off the web.

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  4. Love your page Michelle ,the colours are awesome..xx

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  5. This page is a new fave for me. Love the colors, and the design, and the pic! And you really are the best story teller. I hate that feeling of being an adult and something happening to make you feel shamed like your a kid again. So....I guess you have more study time? lol

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  6. Okay, first of all- your story is so hilarious! Totally made me laugh! And I find it intriguing that you've never taken this test before...so glad I got it over with when I was young and arrogant. I think I'd be terrified to take it now, lol!

    Your page is awesome too- love the black and pink. Your work always makes me want to look further into it. :) Keep it up!

    xErin

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    1. Thanks Erin. :) I think I would be miles happier on the deep woods where I could just walk and find all kinds of little streams and furry animals. I'm in a suburb- the only thing to do here is wish you had a car so you could go somewhere else. Escaping to the hiking trails always reminds me I could grow to love it here. I wish I had done this 20 years ago too- I was even more clueless then-I wouldn't have remembered to bring the book along.

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  7. Michelle, that story is a cracker!!! Just hilarious. I think we all have those forehead slap moments from time to time. That page is super awesome as always... One of my faves for sure xx

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  8. What a striking layout!!! Love it!!!

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  9. Omg, those jerks. Wh does the DMV always insist on embarrassing us upright humans?! Maybe you can get a bike...no test for that!

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  10. OK, I shouldn't laugh - but... LOL! I'm sorry you have to wait. But, thanks for the giggle - I seriously needed that today! When I took my test, my dad was over my shoulder whispering the answers and then he got in trouble :)

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  11. oops! so sorry you failed the test but I love, love your layout. gorgeous.

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Ok peeps lets CHAT! You tell me what you REALLY think and I PROMISE to keep it open minded here.