Explaining yourself. Don't do it.

Now that I'm on Pinterest I see thousands of awesomely designed meme quotes.
Apparently these have been around for a while.
I just wasn't plugged into Tumblr or other digi spaces where graphic designers get open on quotes and make them into fun bits you can share.

Here's one:

And another:

A run-in with a friend this week has taught me- when someone steps in the crap...
Call them.
Tell them they stepped in the crap.
Listen. listen. listen.
If they get huffy just say you will call them back and go away for a while.

DON'T- DO. NOT. try to explain why you are angry over email.
Don't do it three times.
Most people- friends, family, your kids, your co-workers- humans in general- will not read the email the way you intended it.
They will read this: "You suck. much. suckage. lots. you. forever."
You could be the most eloquent.
The MOST fair.
The MOST righteous.
But being right isn't the point in a relationship- especially a long term one.

And perhaps you (me- always me- me me me) are in an altered state due to whatever stuff you managed to dredge up from the bottomless depths.
This "stuff" is great for creativity and originality but also puts the "crazy" in
"That (Colloquial Feminine Term) is (Out)house rat KEE RAY RAY!"

You might not have an idea how angry you are until someone (your sister. who reads Shakespeare. who knows all about people who think in poison daggers)
This person of truth says:
"DUUUDE- you're like- AGGRO. all. the. time. these days!"
To this you say- "WHAAAAT? Insert LAAAME-O excuse here!"
Add another one for good measure: "Lameity, lame, lame!!"
The lady doth protest too much.

You thought you were happy. ????? You tell everyone you are SO. HAPPY!
Diane Keaton in "First Wives Club" SO. HAAAPPYYY!!!!

"Doing GREAT! Couldn't be BETTER!!!"

What. is. up?
You take mental inventory:
"On my (BLEEEP!) list..."
Holy COW!
EVERYONE!!!!

You (remember- ME- I mean ME) get into a MAJOR tiff with someone you love and want to keep around because they are generally awesome if a bit judgey pants (but only sometimes).... (and only because they care).... (and because they value different things)
Which is WHY these different type people are valued and loved and appreciated.
 (silently apparently???).
So that "tiff" turns into a nasty fight.
And before you know it.
No more friend.

So the question is- how many times does this happen before you realize the problem is you?
You could blame the friend (or the family member or the co-worker)
You could get all huffy and post emo FB statuses that put-off EVERYONE.
You could say you are trying to stay real and only want people around who really appreciate you.
But in the end, you are alone.
REAL, but alone.

Balance and perspective.
That is what is required.
You make that call.
You make the obligatory apology.
Then you wait and hope the offended party..
 (who admittedly started the whole thing but really, who's counting? You ARE 38, right? Not 8! You wish you were 8. 8 would mean it's still socially acceptable to throw a tantrum. Tantrums are ALL the awesome sauce- but only when YOU do it. If someone throws a tantrum and you happen to be around, it's ALL the suck)
...hope the offended party comes back.

Did you learn from this experience?
Will it happen again?
You have a toddler.
Will you let it happen when she's 10? When she's 15?
When she's 21?
You have a husband.
He said do not write emails.
He said do not go on Facebook.
He said look! SQUIRREL!
But you did not go chase the squirrel.
You let the dogs out and they pooped all over your friendship.
Pick up the pieces.
pieces pieces pieces.
Put them back together again.
paste paste paste.
Oh no! I see the cracks!
But in some circles, that's called texture.
It adds character to the work.
Your life.

Two sides to everything. Two sides.

MuChos SmOoChEs!
Michelle

ACK! It's DECEMBER! A True Xoxo page

It's that wonderful time of the year! CHRISTMAS!!! The radio plays annoyingly cheerful muzak all day. The streets and subways are packed. The stores full of clueless temps who would rather you fall headfirst down the nearest escalator than help you. Your mailman is away on vacation so your packages get "lost".
Oh how I LOVE Christmas in the city!

Here is the December prompt for True Xoxo Girls:

It's me and I am.
Materials: Me and My Big Ideas paper, Ormolu tags, spots and pin, Sassafras Lass journaling tag and piano border strip, October Afternoon Brown Bag and Buttermilk mists, Technique Tuesday stamp.

First of all I must apologize for being away. I am a woman sans mojo. No motivation, no ideas, no NEED to communicate. Everything I touch falls apart. See?

The mojo has taken an extended vacation. Just so you see- I'm trying. 

I've been watching movies and sulking all week. I saw the new Conan movie- whoa that actor is HOT! I also saw Benicio (my main MAN!) in "The Wolfman"  which was awesome. And I got to introduce Miss Lola to Batteries Not Included (she LOVED IT) and Annie (meh- for now). Somehow I haven't been able to put a single thing together so instead of freaking out I will write about it.

Things I did to bring on the mojo:

Read blogs- only made things worst as I now have idea overload

Shop for more scraps- suicidal- I know.

Read catalogs- refer to the above plus the awful feeling that I will always be too poor to have space for  a cushy sofa and a window with actual light- ironic! Maybe less SHOPPING???????

This- life risking exercise billed as an innocent hike. Trail name? 

Breakneck Ridge- shoulda KNOWN!

• Talk to David about what a looser I am. Dave has zero pity party license. I was told to shut up and MAKE SOMETHING already.
• Put up the Christmas tree. Lola tried her BEST to bring it back down again.
• Cut up 4 x 6 papers for my inevitably disastrous "December Daily" project. My "theme" is Christmas in NYC- all the main attractions will get hit. Feel sorry for me- it's 1 a day with a 2 year old and 65,000 other humans for 31 days. I will start today with a photo of Rockerfeller Center- I feel the crush of the crazed crowds already.

Here's a quick close up up of the page:

I ordered some Ormolu items as a lark and now they are my favorite brand
(after Sassy- I'm a sucker for unrequited love)

The December True Xoxo challenge is based on this quote which I DEEPLY disagree with.

Women do entirely too much apologizing for keeping it real. As a result, we tend to resort to behind the back talking which I despise. I will tell you up front what annoys me about you- repeatedly. I will often disagree with you- in public- loudly. But it doesn't mean I disrespect or intend to hurt you- people need and deserve space to be themselves. I also feel truth is more important than politeness. To quote Jerry Maguire- "YOU think we are arguing. I think we are FINALLY communicating!"

GRATUITOUS cute baby shot!!!
11/25/11 Grateful for  a Friday full of family and laughter- not commerce and stress.

Not for nothing but opposable thumbs are one of the features that make us human. 

MuChOs SmOoChEs!
Michelle