Friday, March 18, 2011

On Perseverance. Onward!

Mini book- had a lot of fun doing this- will be making many many more.
So I have applied to 5 DTs in the last month and have been turned down for all of them. The last rejection  hurt the most because I worked really hard on that application. I really felt like I would not only be an asset to the team but also bring some diversity in terms of project themes and general view point to the work. I mean I grew up in the Bronx, I live in Brooklyn- who the heck expects someone like me to be conversant in the idiom of this uber polite and family values centered hobby? Shouldn't I be like, painting murals or knitting floppy hats for Johnny Depp or something?

I suppose the truth is I just started out so I have to "pay dues". I've always found that expression incredibly obnoxious. I also have no idea where my style is going- half the time I have no idea where my PAGES are going. I just let the whim take me places. Most of the time I am just as surprised as my viewer when a project is done. So I can see why a manufacturer or a retailer would be wary- I'm an unknown quantity. And maybe I cuss too much? Who KNOWS??? They never bother to tell you why you are passed by!
So I start to question: Why do I do this? Why not keep the projects in the scrapbook like when I first started? Why write a blog where I tell unseen people very personal things and possibly irk or offend them? Why keep applying for teams when it makes me feel awful to get rejected? Why do I spend so much time and effort on these projects?
All great questions. As a type A personality I tend to get really into something when I like it. So what started as cutting up a few pages on a sunday has turned into reading blogs, making pages just for possible publication or for DT applications, joining groups to get noticed, leaving comments hoping people will return the favor- it just gets to be too much. Too much work and no pay- not even in compliments.
So I'm done.
No more DT applications. No more competitions.
No more posting links to my blog everywhere- that just annoys people anyway.
No more reading blogs and leaving comments in forums just to get new followers.

Back to what I liked about this in the first place, making truthful art or beautiful craft objects and making them my way.
Writing this blog is my favorite thing next to actually making a new page so I'll stick to that. I'll keep surfing blogs for inspiration but I won't freak out over making sure there are comments everywhere. And if I get noticed- great- if not- that's fine too. After all- that's what this is about isn't it? Making something for that pure sense of accomplishment? If I keep seeking validation from the outside aren't I doomed to constant discontent? Somethings to ponder.

MuChOs SmOoChEs!


  1. I do not count as a NEW BLOG to visit and leave comments, so visit me today:) Again I have dedicated something to you :) How funny I did that and THEN came over and read your post after the fact! Chin up, shoulders back....BREATHE!!

  2. Your project, sorry i get sidetracked..AWSOME! Love every single bit of it!!

  3. are you kidding? don't give up! you will go through rejection, through self-doubt, through these moments of wanting to throw in the towel, but if you give in to those moments you won't be where you wanted to be.
    this is coming from someone who until a few years ago got everything she wanted in life, just by it happening (i.e. it was only a few years ago that I truly learned I have to work to get the things I want).
    i, for one, want to see your work out there!

  4. Well they don't know what they're missing out on. Seriously. If they turned you down then try something new and for you until you want to try again. You push it, you won't like it :) But on a serious note, you rawk and if you keep trying you WILL get there. No doubt in my mind :)

  5. Wow! Awesome work!! I have yet to do a mini-book and this one makes me wanna give it a try! It looks like you put sooo much work into this. So many great details. Love it!!!

  6. dude....
    don't worry about it. keep doin' what you do. but most of all, do it for yourself. i love your style and your semi crazy personality. so sending hugs your way. carry on.

  7. The mini album pages you posted are simply awesome. You are creative in ways I can never hope to be, and that's truly a great gift!

    I think you are asking yourself all the right questions about why you scrap and what makes you feel good or bad. I'll keep popping by now and then for a little inspiration, and just to admire your work. Do what makes you happy -- that's the most important person to please!

  8. It's good to take a break from all that if it doesn't feel fun. This addictive hobby can have a funny way of taking over, especially for type As like us. As you said, the scrapping should and is the best part after all. cheers !

  9. You know you're still going to dream of it, so why give up? Now you're only rejecting yourself! I thought about giving up a few times too. If you need any help just let me know. I'm no expert, but sometimes it helps to have a seperate crafty eye take a look. Kinda like English essays. I hate those! :-)

  10. Don't you dare give up! Just keep doing what you are doing. You will get your time to shine, I know it! Your work is every bit as good and inspiring as all the major scrapbooking celebrities out there!


Ok peeps lets CHAT! You tell me what you REALLY think and I PROMISE to keep it open minded here.