Sleep ISSUES! (edited)

I recently saw an episode of The View where the hosts were debating or rather pontificating aimlessly about co-sleeping and whether Moms should allow it. I'm of two minds as you will read below.

Z's- She caught them! Studio Calico Sunday challenge for 1/30/2011
Materials: Studio Calico exclusive paper, K and Co Que Sera Sera (orange paper), K and Co Amy Butler paper,
Jillibean Soup journaling sprout, Zs from American Crafts, gold gel pen.

When Miss Lola first came home I lived in TERROR of SIDS.

WINNER!!!! When Lola sleeps? Studio Calico Sunday sketch challenge. 1/23/2011
Materials: SC periodical, Sassafras Lass stitch stamps, Mr. Huey- sunshine,  Making Memories
wood veneer-cherry,  Basic Grey mini alphas- red stickers and chipboard in yellow, Ranger Glossy
Accents, Martha Stewart butterfly punches, Maya Road doily stamp, gold pen.

My Mom- being the free styling 70's type- advised that I co-sleep but I was too scared. What if we rolled over on her while we slept? What if she got tangled up in the sheets? What if she fell in the gap between the mattress and the Murphy Bed frame? I had a full mental movie of what it would be like to wake up and find my baby not breathing- that thought STILL wigs me out.

Cheated by adding huge pillow to keep her propped up- another doctor NO NO.

So Lola slept happily in her bitty mobile crib till 5 months when she became too heavy for it. We then (reluctantly) tried switching to her round crib. But she wouldn't fall asleep on her own. I spent many MANY nights sh sh shing her to sleep like "Happiest Baby On The Block" said I should.  I had an expert baby burrito technique. I would also stand with her in the kitchen with the faucet running on high and rock her in my arms- that would put her out in about 5 minutes. 

Baby burrito and vibrating rocking chair to the rescue.
Can't leave her there though-fall risk and
the vibrating is bad if done for over 20 minutes.

But the crib became a battle. At 7 months I gave up on her sleeping face up all the time and let her nap face down while I sat next to her on the sofa. At around 8 months I started letting her sleep face down over night. That first night was long and scary for me but she was fine. So face down it was with the fan on high to circulate the air. 

Photo of first face down nap.
This was a HUGE step for me.

I wonder: SIDS cases have shrunk 50% since parents started making sure their babies slept face up with nothing but minimal sheets in the crib but could the fire retardant chemicals used in bedding and baby clothing also be causing issues with oxygen intake? I worry about all the chemicals in our baby products- the plastics especially-  who knows how those affect the developing brain?

My Mom, naturally, tells me I worry too much about the WRONG things. She insisted- You will loose this war! 

And I did.

Lola -1. Mom- 0.

Lola now sleeps with Dave and I in our full size Murphy bed. Her "unique" round crib is a giant toy chest and coat rack. 

I STILL think this crib is DA BOMB!

At first I was able to put Lola down by sitting next to her on the sofa while she drank her bottle (Lola was never able to breast feed because breast milk aggravated the lung condition she was born with) But any little sound began to wake her up so we started putting her on the shoulder till she fell asleep. 

MIIISTAAAKE! 

She then needed us AND the bottle to fall asleep. The time needed to put her down got longer and longer so I had Dave sit with her since he barely got to see her as he works and goes to school at night. This was their "bonding time". 

Final result?

7am and Lola is still asleep.. very very rare.
I placed that huge pillow there for feeding.

She now prefers Dave at bedtime (a problem when he comes home from school at 11pm). I was also able to put her down in her crib during her nap but now she wakes up instantly if she feels the lifting movements required to put her there. 

No crib- ever.

And FORGET "Ferberizing". I was forbidden to sleep train her. Dave was dead set against letting her cry. He doesn't bother to argue very often but that was one doozy of a fight. I insisted all the books (and ALL the Moms I spoke to except my own Mom) said we needed to sleep train her. Dave accused me of being heartless and mean. He won with the guilt angle. It was 2am and I just didn't have the heart to fight. What's the point if both my partner AND my kid are unhappy? I LIKE having Lola next to me. I love to smell her sweet baby aroma as she cuddles up next to me. Favorite thing? When she grabs my hair and plays with it. She also kicks, head butts, screams, slaps me 3 Stooges style when she wants me to wake up at 5am but WHATEVS! 

I can always instill independence and adherence to rules when she's actually talking. Yeah ok. I believe Miss Thing is slowly training US.

At 3 months Miss Thing wrestles out of her store-made wrap
 and SCREAMS- this photo taken at 3am. Yeah, the
wrap around her neck scared the Dickens outta me too.

Here's what gets me: will she insist on "co-sleeping" at 8? At 10? YIKES! But for now I really love having her with us. This may be my only baby- I'm 37 and Lola's belly time was really hard on both of us. Childhood is such a short SHORT amount of time. When Miss Thing is 21 and graduating college I'll have the sweet memories or our co-sleeping to fall back on.

Mom- as always- you were right. :)

But please go ahead and share your story or your opinion- I really need to hear from other Moms whether you agree or disagree.

Remember when you could still find baby theme stuff with THIS pose on it? Nevermore!

MuChOs SmOoChEs!

M.